Thursday, April 16, 2009


so I moved to Beaumont. But I honestly have NO idea how it feels to live there so far because I havent even been there a week. I've still been working in houston, and coming home on the weekends. Justin has been totally understanding, and I havent been with him. Its not his fault, its mine. I'm the one who accepted this to work there, mainly because Ive come to find out I am a little bit of a work-aholic. I dont like being without a job. I dont like the feeling that I could possibly be helpless. And I really did like my job I have in houston. And everyone I've met along with it. sigh....

But moving for love/to be with justin is something I just feel is good for the both us. The whole back and forth was getting really hard- on my car as well as me. so I'm gonna say now. I've made the right decision. I love justin. so much.
I'm a cheese.

On a different note, I have almost forgotten my birthday is in a week and a half! What am I saying? I'm not excited. I'm never excited about my bdays. Dont ask why. I guess I always wish I had all these friends to celebrate with and do something really exciting like I used to when I was younger but nowadays I dont have the friends to do it! In the end, most people dont really care. and thats ok. But youre always wishing more people did. I wish I could get at least enough people to hang with me and go to vegas like justin did. but he's one of the lucky ones, who has a rather large group of friends that he's been friends with since HS. I on the other hand have a hard time keeping friends. Its not like I'm caddy or a shit talker. I'm not mean, or do shady shit to anyone, but my problem is Im admittedly flakey. Im a homebody. I never have a problem being alone, and I always like saving money instead of going out all the time to spend it on drinks and shit like that. Its my HUGE flaw in the friendship thing. But I dont expect alot out of anyone for me, either. I really dont. In relationships, with friends or boyfriends, I'm SUPER independent. And unfortunately the one who arent like me dont really understand that at all. I dont blame em. If I was like them I wouldnt either.

I swear someday, I will have an all positive blog. I feel positve for the most part. I feel a little insecure about myself right now, but for the most part I thank god all the time for whats come my way so far. I just typed fart. good thing I caught that one.

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