Tuesday, February 16, 2010

4 girls

Once upon a time I had 3 best friends. Once upon a time those best friends were all so lucky to have met in elementary school and have stayed friends so long. Once upon a time, one went off to college in another city and the 3 of us remained in town together. Over the years it was rough but we all managed to keep in touch. The past year has brought suprises, and it will never be the same.

This past weekend, one of those girls invited me to her birthday. I should have followed my gut and not gone, I was worried it would feel awkward. I was right, it was.
All I have ever wanted is for all of us to be those "lucky" girls and still be close friends after soooo long. Unfortunately, people grow up and people change, and expect and want different things.

It will never be the same between the 4 of us. People cannot let go of their grudges, they hang on the past, (even when it was like 10 years ago past) and they say things they dont mean but it still hurts anyway. People make new friends others get jealous of those new ones, they want the same thing another gets and envy get in the way, they think that what they give as friends should be given right back to them the same way the gave it. It sucks.

The older you get the harder it is to make a GOOD friend. I have been facing that truth for almost a year now. Its been incredibly hard, but I have built on myself, and what I want out of another one I consider letting in.

As much as I want to get into to detail about you past events, I stick by keeping it light, and plus you never know whose reading! But, to make a long story short, this weekend's event pretty much changed everything and who knows if it will last forever. Some say its the best for me, this is almost a favor, and Im better off, but we'll see.

edit note* I also think the longer your friends with someone, the pettier it gets. It makes me sad sad sad.


Ashley Stone said...

I totally identify. I'm not friends with hardly any of the girls I grew up with anymore, even though we were close for years and years. Once people grow up, get boyfriends, get married, start having kids... it's so hard to stay close.

I count myself fortunate to have just a FEW close friends. They are hard to come by!

stephanie said...

how true...sad but true. and it does just get harder as we get older...but i thi nk that also makes us appreciate whatever strong relationships we do have...

i also find that some girls never grow out of wanting the most friends, i'm glad to have learned how important it is to have fewer great friends instead. :)

Allison said...

ok, yea...tell me why you are holding your tongue for someone that DOES NOT hold theirs? She's probably still stalking you via this blog anyways...

Yes, its true tho, as life's path twists and turns it takes you farther from the ones you used to follow the path with. Its good, it wouldn't be growing up if things didn't change.