I would love it...

if I could afford these cuties right now. I'll give it another month....I get myself what I want when I want it.

On a different note, I'm at home buzzing again. Justin is passed out next to me and has been for some time now. We went to go give blood today and they turned me down saying I have a low iron....well, I'm sorry. I dont eat meat. Now it shows. All the ladies at my work, (where the blood drive was) were like, "its because you dont eat!" I eat. I just dont eat lunch. I know I need to, but I'm not a fast fooder. and thats what happens to people on their lunch breaks when they dont have time to bring a lunch. justin, on the other hand, had a score of 51 with his iron when they asked for a 38. IRON MAN! haha. kelly. anywho....I cant wait to go to houston on the 9th....Why am i more excited for this than ACL? I dunno. My sisters bday, ans then I'm staying the night with my favourite cuz and me, her and kelly have plans for el pueblito. A hidden treasure of the montrose area. Well, all for now. I'm soooo super boring these days. sorry.

Weekend Warriors

I hadnt had a chance to update about my past holiday weekend and here we are at the next weekend already. thats ok. I'll go ahead wid it.

• we came into Wimberly, Tx to see justin's parents. It was great, I love his mom and step dad, they completely remind me of my own parents.



• Saturday, our mutual pal Colleen (she's one reason why we met) took us to Hamilton pool. It's pretty damn amazing. The downside of this area of texas is that we havent gotten much rain this year, so all the natural springs arent running very well, and its making it all a bit stagnant, but still amazing.
  
  We went to Canyon Lake Sunday, and I'm sorry, most of my pictures from that were so-so. But I happened to make a new friend.
  His name was Casper. I have been dying to get a pooch, and Justie has been wishy-washy about it, but when the time comes, I'm getting a miniature poodle. They dont shed, the size is perfection, and after this little guy we so bonded, and it made me want a dog even more than before!
  I'm so tired this week....I'm in good spirits, just tired and super lazy. This weekend, I'm heading back to Houston to hang with family, and friends. And maybe a bit of shopping...I know man.
  I decided since I needs monies so bad, I'm selling shit on Ebay. two auctions have ended, and I sold on both. $50.00 in my pocket already. Nice.
  As for right this second, I'm at work, biding my time till 5 o'clock rolls around. I finally got to stop working Temporary Saturdays! BLISS!!!

ok then.

today so far has been half bad. so I guess I gotta work tomorrow for 4 hours. I plan on fucking off, and bringing a book/magazine and maybe even posting to my bloggy blog! Ijust got my new digi yesterday and now all I want is to go take photos with it. But where? Its sorta funny, I can honestly say there is NOTHING to do here in beaumont. Like I'm not joking. Even Justin will say it and he tries to get me off being negative about being here. Imagine yourself being somewhere where the 3 places you really ever went was Home, Work, and The Grocery Store. yep, thats here. Its weird to think about, but its pretty true. I ask everyone, what do you do here? Evryone says, "go to Houston" wow. Helpful.

Either way, my job as of today is getting better. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty good at what I do. I work quickly and sufficiently, and that what they want. Including the face that I am also I fast learner. I was never like this in High School. Why did I have to bloom so late in the brain department? Bummer.

I have also been having so WACKASS dreams....last night I had a dream about my teddy. Teddy i believe hasnt been feeling really good lately, and it pretty obvious. Since at the moment I'm a loser and I have no money, I had set up a vet appt for him for tomorrow, but I had to reschedule for two weeks from now, since I have to work tomorrow and 'I'm broke. Well the latest dream was that teddy was running around like literally a mad CAT and had I big shard of glass cutting everyone with around him. I stopped teddy and gently pulled the glass out of his throat. I was very horrific dude. Its a sign to me. Teddy doesnt feel good. And I feel like a shithead for not being able to do something till now. Ugh.
The next dream was that I was something about not being with Justin and then something happened where it made me see how Justin was the one for me. Basically the point of that one was that he really is the one for me. Sigh.....I wish we were still in honeymoon period. That was so exciting. Everything is so new. But as soon as we get out of this town we'll get a whole new adventure, cuz we most likely will NOT be moving back to houston. that right. NOT MOVING back to houston. I cant wait to see where life takes us though!

tisk tisk

Im afraid im losing myself here. i feel unnoticed. unpretty. uninteresting.

Im glad im going to houston on saturday. Im supposed to hang with my sister which i think will be unusually refreshing. at least ill have someone to talk to...someone who gives input. which is also something i havent gotten much of. dude, do i still have any fucking friends? doesnt feel like it.

the best part of today was that i won some adorable taverniti jeans on ebay like so...



but i didnt win the sky top i was bidding on. bummer. it was so me.
if only people understood how wonderful ebay is.... sigh.....

kona wont stop taking a crap next to the litter box. its driving me insane.

well im gonna go back to watching tori spelling in this old lifetime movie. she looks sorta fug. I know its mean. but hey she looks great now! I dont think dark lipstick and bleach blond white ass hair was workin for her back then. Im a dork.

MANDARIN, vanessa. MANDARIN.

AHHHHH.
so I moved to Beaumont. But I honestly have NO idea how it feels to live there so far because I havent even been there a week. I've still been working in houston, and coming home on the weekends. Justin has been totally understanding, and I havent been with him. Its not his fault, its mine. I'm the one who accepted this to work there, mainly because Ive come to find out I am a little bit of a work-aholic. I dont like being without a job. I dont like the feeling that I could possibly be helpless. And I really did like my job I have in houston. And everyone I've met along with it. sigh....

But moving for love/to be with justin is something I just feel is good for the both us. The whole back and forth was getting really hard- on my car as well as me. so I'm gonna say now. I've made the right decision. I love justin. so much.
I'm a cheese.

On a different note, I have almost forgotten my birthday is in a week and a half! What am I saying? I'm not excited. I'm never excited about my bdays. Dont ask why. I guess I always wish I had all these friends to celebrate with and do something really exciting like I used to when I was younger but nowadays I dont have the friends to do it! In the end, most people dont really care. and thats ok. But youre always wishing more people did. I wish I could get at least enough people to hang with me and go to vegas like justin did. but he's one of the lucky ones, who has a rather large group of friends that he's been friends with since HS. I on the other hand have a hard time keeping friends. Its not like I'm caddy or a shit talker. I'm not mean, or do shady shit to anyone, but my problem is Im admittedly flakey. Im a homebody. I never have a problem being alone, and I always like saving money instead of going out all the time to spend it on drinks and shit like that. Its my HUGE flaw in the friendship thing. But I dont expect alot out of anyone for me, either. I really dont. In relationships, with friends or boyfriends, I'm SUPER independent. And unfortunately the one who arent like me dont really understand that at all. I dont blame em. If I was like them I wouldnt either.

I swear someday, I will have an all positive blog. I feel positve for the most part. I feel a little insecure about myself right now, but for the most part I thank god all the time for whats come my way so far. I just typed fart. good thing I caught that one.

boredom

I'm at work. And imbored.I think I'll be posting new blogs a whole lot more. Its so weird leaving this job cuz I really like it and usually when I leave a job I'm pretty damn estatic about it. But I'm sad, its bittersweet....because I pretty much just spend time on the computer at work now....trying to get leases for my favorite coworker wendy.

Justin gave me roses yesterday for our 1 year anniverary. I still cant believe its been this long and every time I see him, I still feel like its the first time, I still get excited like we just started dating a week ago. I guess thats what its all about or whats supposed to happen. We hung out at Agora (i will miss that place and I just started going there) and then we went to my sisters and had wedding cake to celebrate our anniverary since allison's wedding is where we met. We discussed how funny our first meeting was and how we were so scared to approach each other, or more so I was, he just doesnt usually approach girls.

tonight we are going to my favorite nice restaurant, benjy's I'm pretty excited cuz we never have gone anywhere to eat really nice. I just heard that lindsey is moving back. That's good. Def. good for melissa. But me and linz still havent mended shit out. Thats the one person I want to talk to to fix shit with is here. Sometimes I would think I dont miss her at all but I when I set my own stupid immature shit aside I totally miss her friendship. I wish we could just let go of our stupid grudges.

well thats it....I am excited for life at the moment!

almost there.....

so Im moving to Beaumont in exactly 1 week from today. so far packing has been almost cleansing for me. I have already gotten rid of my coffee table (which I really liked) and my first tv EVER that I had for my own room. (this lttle 19inch) and I've got like 2 garbage bags full of stuff I will giving to good will and I'm sure I'll be able to fill another bag before I go. The only ones making it hard for me to leave is my job which is so freaking bittersweet. Mainly, because for the first time ever, I have the Bosses and owners begging me to stay and that feels good, because every other job all the higher-ups have given a shit or even taken a interest on how I've done my job. If i compare Nordstom to this place...i mean shit I dodnt make as much money here, but at least i am happy. At least I get praise. There is good coaching instead of " nothing you do and nothing you try to fix is good enough" per Manuel Medina. Piece of shit.

as for Beaumont....oh geez. I already know that these people in that town are super fucking lazy. No cares service is bad, no one calls you back, its just a lazy town. So I'm going to have to be really really agressive with finding a job. So far the staffing agency I applied with is HORRIBLE. I mean you apply with them and they dont ever bother calling you back again and then they say, "call our availability line to apply for one of our job listings" I call and its a damn answering machine that says leave your name and phone number. thats it. lame. So I called them and I said, "uh....I see some jobs listed that I want to apply for, is that possible to do through you?" I had a funny feeling they were just humoring me. We'll just have to see. I am just gonna have to get in there and dont stop at anything.

I have hardly seen justin at all this month. like AT all. And tomorrow is our 1 year anniversary. I feel a little like we have drifted apart and I know its because we havent seen each other that much. He's always got a disk golf tournament, and the last time he didnt visit for a weekend it was because we were supposed to go to san antonio together for his friends birthday and I couldnt end up going but he ended up going anyway. Which is something he's done before. I shouldnt really get mad, but i do. I get my feelings hurt more like it. I would stick around for him most of the tiem and alot of times I feel like I'm IN this more than he is. Which leads me to my next point. I was going through some of my old shit and came across a journal I wrote in from like 02-03' and duuuude that was the worst time in my life so far. I was so unhappy and I was overweight, broke still at my parents and still always in trouble with my parents and I was dating guys that were so HORRIBLE to me. And this journal I read it and I hold it close to me now cuz I see how much I've changed and figured shit out for myself and in it, it says, "I just wanna meet a guy who is totally into me, is funny like me, dresses like me, likes the same shit as me and talks as much as me" well aside from justin's adventures without he couldnt be more perfect for me. I when iget upset I forget how lucky I am to have him and not everyone will get to have someone that special in their lives. So in short its all about life lessons. And I'm learning them. And couldnt be more happy right now.