Monday, January 18, 2010

Blockage

Lately, (like the past month!) I have been in a writing block. I'm tired and stressed and I keep have feelings of guilt for more than one reason.
2 weeks ago, I found out my mother has Alzheimers. She's young, yes it was a suprise that it was Alz. specifically, but for months, I've been used to the person she is now. That person, isnt really my mom that I knew before. I would consider myself close to the old mom, someone I really did tell many things to, someone with a usually unbiased opinion, she has always been so easy to talk to for me. I am excited to move back to be closer, and to get in more time, and while thats such an exciting thing to happen in the next month, I am sooooo stressed out. Last friday when I went to lunch I almost didnt even make it back, I couldnt stop balling so hard. I have alot of emotions running right now, there is so much up in the air, and I keep feeling so guilty that I'm not doing the right thing, and I honestly I couldnt even explain why I feel this way. aaaaaaaarrrh. The last few times we have gone out of town have been really hard, and each time right at the end when we are about to go home, I bitch and say "I am SOOO sick of doing this." I amd not sure if anyone knows how this feels but being on the go EVERY weekend, and ALWAYS having to pack a bag, sleep in someone else's bed, wear out your welcome, or disrupt someone else's daily routine is very tiring and irritating. I seriously cant wait to see what my blogs will be like once we are some where solid! oh, the thought of being somewhere where my love and my family AND my friends are all at once! I cant even imagine the feeling yet!
on a lighter note, things that have been sweet lately:

-I have been reading something better, yes I said BETTER than Twilight. ( I didnt even really like Twilight to be honest) called Beautiful Creatures. Though its just the beginning, its really good, and told from a guy's point of view, and so much less cheeser. I really wanted to be apart of the Twilight series madness, but I just cant do it. It didnt appeal to me as much as like, the whole world.

-Has anyone been watching the new season of Big Love? If not, you are missin out! I pretty much missed out on the 3rd season, so I rented it with my BBonline, and most likely will be watching it tonight. soooo awesome!

-I got a newbie on Saturday, and I have been reluctant to show it off, since its still red (very) but you get it, right? where the wild things are! haha. I am blessed to know someone who owns their own tattoo parlor.

-House hunting! I think, as soon as we actually figure out WHERE we are moving, itll be better. We are looking for a house. Something with 2-3 bdrms, and most of all, a yard. having a big dog with a carpeted apartment is not my thing these days. Iwant to paint, I want space, and yeah, i know what people will say to this, but I am going to buy one of those home stripper poles. Justin needs so spice. lol.

6 comments:

citymama said...

LOVE the tat! And, the stripper pole sounds hot! :)

christina said...

I'm sorry about your mother.
Try meditation for stress.
Sweet tat.
etc, etc.
:]
Your blog is great.

stephanie said...

sorry to hear about your rough time :( hope everything falls in place for you!

love the tat :)

juliewood said...

thanks ladies! much appreciated :-)

christa elyce said...

I'm all for the home stripper poles! Jealous you're going to get one before I do! You rock!

Thanks for following my blog!

Organic Meatbag said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother...I wish you the very best...